'Guinness & Golf are good for you' NEWSLETTER ISSUE 4 - CHRISTMAS 05
CONTENTS
WELCOME NOTE
Happy Christmas
GOLF UPDATE
2006 Ryder Cup
BETTER VALUE
No changes for 2006
CHRISTAS IDEAS
2006 Calendar
Killeen Voucher
Killer Leprechauns
COMPETITION TIME
Put on your thinking caps
LOOK AFTER ME
A lesson for everyone
Ireland @ War
Ireland declares war
New Golf Book
Very useful
OUR "NEWSIEST" NEWS
changing times

PLANNING A TRIP TO IRELAND - HERE ARE SOME USEFUL LINKS
Killeen House Hotel

Ryder Cup
Ryder Cup 2006
PGA Ryder Cup

Christmas Gifts
Killeen Vouchers
Golf gifts

Golf Clubs
Killarney Golf Club
Ballybunion Golf Club
Tralee Golf Club
Old Head Golf Links
Doonbeg Golf Club
Lahinch Golf Club
Dooks Golf Club
Dingle Golf
Waterville Golf Club
Ring of Kerry Golf

ALL of Ireland's Courses

Golf Tour Operators
Adventures in Golf
Atlantic Golf
AGT Golf Tours
Carr Golf
Hayes Golfreisen
Hidden Links Golf
Irish Links Tours
Irish Golf Tours
Jerry Quinlan’s Celtic Golf
J.D.Golf Tours Ltd
Online Golf Travel
Owenoak International
Ovation Group

Getting into Ireland
American Airlines
Aer Arann
Aer Lingus
Air France
British Airways
BMI
Continental
Delta
Lufthansa
Ryan Air

Getting around Ireland
Dan Dooley
Deros Tours
Buckleys Tours
Pro Bus & Car luxury touring

For more information please check with your local Travel Agent or Irish Tourist Board Office

HELLO EVERYONE ,

...And welcome to our end of year Newsletter!
This is the fourth one we have done, and for sure it’s the “newsiest” one ever! (Our really big news is the very last item at the end of the page……!!)

As you know, we don’t take anything too seriously, so the only real purpose behind sending this Newsletter out to you, is to keep in touch with everyone, to give you a little bit of news and gossip about goings on in the Killeen House and in Ireland, and hopefully, to encourage you to keep in touch with us. (And if we bring an occasional little smile to your lips, then that’s great too!)

Of course Ireland’s big story in 2006 is going to be the Ryder Cup. In our 30 years of Hotel-keeping here in this Country, we have never seen anything like the hype surrounding this great Event. The interest from everywhere is fascinating, and if only a tiny percentage of this interest translates into action, then we are girding the old loins (now, there’s a nice thought for the top of the backswing!) for a ‘bumper’ year!

Running down the left hand side of this letter, you’ll find a pretty comprehensive list of various Websites that should prove very helpful to you if you’re considering an Irish vacation in 2006. You can also of course check out our own Killeen House Site, which we are very proud of! (www.killeenhousehotel.com)

Enjoy our Newsletter, and may we wish you and yours all that you would wish for yourselves for Christmas and the New Year.

Geraldine & Michael

 

2006 RYDER CUP

Always a special event – but how much more special will it be when its played in THE PLACE THAT GOD MADE WHEN HE WAS IN A GOOD HUMOUR…IRELAND !!

We Irish are looking forward to this in a way that we’ve never looked forward to anything before……its going to be the Mother & Father of all parties…..regardless of who wins!!! The Killeen House currently has some availability left around the Ryder Cup period, but not too much, so if you’re interested in coming to visit us, now is the time to start planning the trip.
For more information you can visit our Ryder Cup section which has many essential links. Enjoy browsing here

 

 

BETTER VALUE

QUESTION : WHAT WAS GOOD VALUE IN 2005 AND WILL BE EVEN BETTER VALUE IN 2006?
ANSWER : THE KILLEEN HOUSE HOTEL! ALL OUR 2005 DINNER, BED & BREAKFAST PRICES ARE FROZEN FOR 2006
( check our prices here )

(And for all our American Guests, this is better again, because the Dollar is finally getting a bit of its strength back, so a 2006 trip to Ireland is sure to be a lot better value than a 2004 or 2005 trip!)

 

 

CAN WE OFFER YOU A COUPLE OF CHRISTAS GIFT IDEAS???

How about either a 2006 Calendar featuring some of the finest Links Golf holes in the World (including even a Scottish one or 2…). Or maybe the finest coffee table book about Irish Links Golf that ever was, or ever will be published? When he’s not slugging pints and having a good time in the pub of the Killeen House, our close friend Larry Lambrecht moonlights as one of history’s greatest golf photographers. Check out details of both his book and calendar on his Website at www.golfstock.net

Better yet, why not consider giving a gift of a Voucher from the Killeen House, for use during the summer of 2006 ? We have a whole range available, from one that is good for 5 pints of Guinness, to one that is good for a week long stay, and everything in between. One of them might just be the ideal solution to your gift problem, and we can get them off to you in plenty of time for Christmas or the New Year. Check them all out here

And may we give you a gift also? Get yourself a screensaver with attitude! Engage one of the legendary Killeen House Killer Leprechauns as the guardian and protector of your computer. Check it out and download it here. (And if you’re a cheapskate, send it on as a Christmas gift to your friends !)


ITS COMPETITION TIME AGAIN…

Our last competition about Geraldine’s whereabouts generated a frighteningly high response! Please frighten us even more by responding to this Competition (in even bigger numbers), which really couldn’t have anything other than a Ryder Cup theme!



All you have to do is come up with the wittiest and most original caption for this picture.

Post your answer HERE

where everyone can admire your wit, wisdom and brazen….brass……neck!


There will be 3 prizes

- a complimentary overnight for 2 people here in the Killeen House
- dinner for 2 in our very classy ROZZERS restaurant
- a bottle of Middleton Very Rare Irish Whiskey

The winner takes their pick of any of the above three prizes, the second place takes the next pick and the third place gets whatever’s left over…


We will be announcing the Winners on our Website in mid January, so stay tuned!

 

“LOOK AFTER ME”
This poem has been hanging at the entrance to the Pub of the Killeen House since we first opened back in 1992. If we had a EURO for every Guest who has copied it down, we would be rich indeed. There’s a lesson in it for everyone!

I’M THE PERSON WHO GOES INTO A RESTAURANT, SITS DOWN PATIENTLY AND WAITS WHILE THE WAITRESS DOES EVERYTHING
BUT TAKE MY ORDER


I’M THE PERSON WHO GOES INTO A SHOP
AND STANDS QUIETLY WHILE THE COUNTER STAFF FINISH THEIR LITTLE CHIT-CHAT


I’M THE PERSON WHO DRIVES INTO A PETROL STATION
AND NEVER BLOWS HIS HORN, BUT SITS PATIENTLY
WHILE THE ATTENDANT FINISHES READING HIS NEWSPAPER


YOU MIGHT SAY I’M A GOOD PERSON
BUT DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?


I’M THE PERSON WHO NEVER COMES BACK


AND IT AMUSES ME TO SEE YOU SPENDING THOUSANDS OF EURO EVERY YEAR, TRYING TO GET ME BACK, WHEN I WAS ALREADY THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE


AND ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS…….LOOK AFTER ME

 

COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED? - Ireland Declares War on France
We are indebted to our good friends Dan and Gerri O'Brien, of Lockport, NY, for the following. They never told us whether its an actual true story or not……

Jacques Chirac, The French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against the United States when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down here at the Harp Pub in County Kerry, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Paddy, "after a moment's calculation there is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight of us!"

Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac, 'tis meself again. The war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?," Chirac asked. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke."

"The Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Dan O'Brien's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to two hundred thousand!" "Jaysus, Mary, and Holy Saint Joseph!," said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin' to ya, Mr.Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the auld war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints and decided there's no foo-kin way we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners-of-war."

ALSO Click here to see Ireland's defences in the event of and attack by the USA!!!

 

The First Truly Useful Golf Book

It's due for publication shortly and it includes the following chapters:

1. How to properly line up your fourth putt.
2. How to hit a Nike from the rough when you hit a Titleist off the tee.
3. How to avoid the water when you lay 8 in the bunker.
4. How to get more distance off the shank.
5. When to give the marshal the finger.
6. Using your shadow on the greens to maximize earnings.
7. Crying and how to handle it.
8. Proper excuses for drinking beer before 10 a.m.
9. How to rationalize a 6-hour round.
10. How to find that ball that everyone else saw go in the water.
11. Why your "significant other" doesn't care that you birdied the 5th.
12. How to let a foursome play through your twosome without getting embarrassed.
13. How to relax when you are hitting 3 off the tee.
14. When to suggest major swing corrections to your opponent.
15. Re-gripping your ball retriever.
Visit our growing golf/irish jokes section here

 

AND OUR "NEWSIEST" PIECE OF NEWS IS……….

……..That after 15 wonderful, happy and fulfilling years, Geraldine and Michael have decided to offer the Killeen House for sale at the end of the 2006 season (Hopefully after Europe's victory in the Ryder Cup!).
Yes, we are putting it on the Market, with a view to selling it before the start of the 2007 season.
This is not a sudden move on our behalf – we have been considering it for the last year or two. And we are in the extremely fortunate position that we do not have to sell the property unless we get what we want - in terms of the right price and the right ownership
Of course, we may not get what we want - in which case, we will still be here in 2007 and 2008 and beyond, toiling away and having a grand old time….!

This is a newsletter that contains subjective information and articles about the wonderful Killeen House Hotel, Killarney, Kerry and Ireland. In the 'unlikely event' that you no longer wish to receive this newsletter, please unsubscribe by visiting our Newsletter section here. Unauthorized distribution or commercial use of this e-mail is both permitted and encouraged. Send it to your friends and family, or print it out and pull it out for your golfing buddies on that long walk down the fairway!
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