killarney hotel accommodation

When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words....


The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: 
She said, "If you were my husband, I'd give you poisoned tea." 
He answered, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
 
A member of Parliament to Prime Minister Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." 

"That depends, Sir", said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
 
 
"He had delusions of adequacy" - Walter Kerr
 
 
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
 - Winston Churchill
 
 
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
 
 
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." 
                     - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
 
 
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
 
 
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
 
 
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."  
                                                              - Oscar Wilde
 
 
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one." 
                       - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
 
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."- Winston Churchill, in response.
 
 
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." 
                                                        - Comedian Kip Adota 
 
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
 
 
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." 
                                                                                     -Irvin S. Cobb
 
 
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -
                                                      -Samuel Johnson
 
 
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
 
 
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -
                                              -Charles, Count Talleyrand
 
 
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
 
 
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
 
 
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
 
 
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -  Oscar Wilde
 
 
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
 
 
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
 
 
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
                                                         - Groucho Marx

 

Killeen House Hotel, Lakes of Killarney, Aghadoe, Ireland | Tel : +353 64 6631711 | Fax : +353 64 6631811